17 June 2007
Today is Father's Day and it is a complete drag. I feel like the kid in The Wall when he was in the park looking at all the other children with their fathers playing. I'm not a little kid, I know, but this is how I feel.
15 June 2007
My goal for Saturday was to see the Willie Nelson concert. I was going to try to help out at Meadowbrook so I could get in. Well, he's playing there tonight. I feel like a moron for telling everyone about my idea.
14 June 2007
![[The US Flag]](images/Flag.gif)
Today is Flag Day. Dad would have had flags all over the porch this day. Every time I see the American Flag flying I think of him.
12 June 2007
I called my friend who was at the party on Saturday. She didn't answer. I hope I didn't screw things up. She's a wicked cool person and I hope to speak with her again. I am kind-of afraid to talk to her in person so I'm writing these things here with the hope that she'll read them. Who am I kidding, though? No one goes to this site. Maybe I will see her tomorrow.
11 June 2007
I managed to get home around 6:00 this morning. I drove Dana to Concord to meet his mom. As soon as I said good-bye to them my land-lady called. She basically said not to worry about the rest of the stuff in the garage. She did want me to get her lawn mower out of the garage. I told her I would do so.
I picked up the lawn mower and strapped it to the bed of my truck. I need to get some sides for the bed because it's rather annoying to have to strap everything down whenever I want to move something.
10 June 2007
I was supposed to see my land-lady today but we missed each other. I'm not looking forward to seeing her. I feel like I haven't done anything at her other property.
I went back to Ashland and installed a different program on Ashley's computer and left for MA to give it to her. The trip wasn't that bad and I eventually found out where she lived. Her computer won't play a DVD now, though. It's always something, I guess.
I went outside for a smoke. Out of habit, I locked the door behind me when I came back inside. I didn't know that Ashley's husband was outside. I guess I locked him out. Whoops. Shortly after this, I decided to drive back home.
9 June 2007
Dana offered to help me with cleaning up my land-lady's property. We did get some things done but both lawn mowers were not cutting it (excuse the pun). It's amazing that I can find any humor in this at all. Woo-hoo! We were both struggling with the massive lawn (it might as well have been three football fields for all I cared at that point) when the neighbor across the street walked over. This was after the lawn mower I was using quit for the 1000th time. She proceeded to let us know that we were actually mowing the wrong lawn. That's all I needed to hear (really). I guess I misunderstood where the property line was. It was about 5:30 at night at this point and I thought it was a good time to put things away.
The night could only get better from this point, I thought. Yes, I was wrong.
There was a party for the son of one of my friends. He's in the Marines and he just got back from Iraq. I have a great affinity for people in the service and veterans. My dad and my brother were both in the Navy and I am super-glad that there are people willing to risk their lives so that I can continue to fuck up mine. Anyway, I guess the party started around one-ish in the afternoon. I was working at that time and I wanted to finish working on a computer for a friend. The computer was at the shop in Ashland, which is rather close to where the party was.
I spoke twice with another friend who was at the party. Things seemed to be going well. This was at roughly 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM. I asked if Dana could come. The "OK" was given and we made our way to Dana's place to clean up and get ready.
I was glad to be going to this party. It was good to celebrate the kid's homecoming. I also wanted to see my friends. Dana let me borrow his "Masterbait and Tackle" shirt and I thought I was pretty damn dapper. We then went to Ashland where I had to install a program on a friend's computer. I wanted to deliver this computer to her on Sunday and I thought that I could do this "simple" install tonight. It wasn't that simple and things kept getting messed up. I gave up around 9:30 PM and Dana and I were finally on our way to the party.
It was raining and dark on the roads that we took to get to the party. Even though it was close to Ashland, it still was located in the middle of nowhere. I had Dana call my friend to tell her we were coming and apparently he couldn't reach her. I'm not sure how many times he called and I hope his messages weren't disturbing. I was trying to drive.
After what seemed like forever we made it to the address. There was a dirt driveway hill-like thing that led to the house. I parked behind a vehicle and Dana and I got out of my truck. We were met in the driveway by two guys and they informed us that the party was "all over." Dana and I were both scratching our heads at this point. Even if the thing started at one in the afternoon, ten at night is rather early where I come from. One of the guys said he needed to move his vehicle so I parked my truck at the bottom of the small hill and started to walk up.
"I don't think he wants us here," Dana says to me when I make it near the top of the hill.
"Is that what you're saying?" I asked the other guy. Sometimes I'm slow, I guess. The guy replied in the affirmative.
"OK," I said. I wanted to see my friends and say hello to my friend's son but I also didn't want any problems. I handed over the bag of chips that I brought (what else can you bring without any money?) and we said good-bye.
I went to get my truck and I'm ready to leave when I see that Dana is talking with two girls. Apparently their boyfriends were inside the house and they wanted to speak with them. Dana insisted on talking with these girls, which is fine, I guess. However, I wanted to leave and there was no real reason to keep talking with these girls. I saw bad things happening, if you know what I mean. One girl managed to call someone in the house and some guys came down the hill and talked with her.
"Who are these guys?" one of them asks. How did I know this would happen? After it's established that we are friends of so-and-so and we know so-and-so I think we're OK to go. I tell Dana as much but he's really slow to get in the car. I think he wanted to get together with the girls. I didn't think that was a good idea (yes, they seemed to be nice and cute and all but I thought "hanging out" with them was a bad idea).
Before we finally left, I called my friend that Dana had been calling before. As fate would have it, I got her boyfriend. I felt like an idiot but he let me talk with her. I guess she dropped her cell phone in a puddle earlier and I couldn't really hear what she was saying. Service was bad out there anyway. She sounded really far away. I might as well have been on another planet. That's how I felt, anyway. I left her with an "I guess I'll catch you later" type of good-bye. It's weird to feel confused, upset, and like shit at the same time. I hope I didn't piss her or her boyfriend off.
We decided to go to Plymouth after the debacle in the woods. Nothing was really happening there for us, either. It seems like everything I touched this week turned to gold. Really. Next, we went to a place where I used to live. There was a small party there but I didn't know any one.
"It's kind of a private party," the one male there said to me in between sips of his beverage. This guy looked like an elf. For real. "I hope you don't mind," he said. He was drunk and coming off like he's king shit or something.
"I don't mind at all," I said as I sat on the couch. "I'll sit right here by myself." I was getting really pissed off at this point. After some more words Dana and I left. It was time to go home. It was just like the parties in high school that my friends and I couldn't go to. I'm so glad to be beyond that. Oh, wait a minute. I guess I'm not.
8 June 2007
I was supposed to mow the lawn at one of my land-lady's properties this week. Well, it's the end of the week. Guess what? It's rained for several days and now the "lawn" is a hay-field. I told her I had access to a lawn mower and a trimmer. However, the friend I was going to borrow these things from said I couldn't use it. What can you say to that?
My land-lady's lawn mower needed to be looked at because it was "broken." I had Dana look at it and he got it running. He said it needed a spark plug. Because I had no other lawn mower to use, I bought a plug and decided to use my land-lady's lawn mower to mow the lawn. What a joke. The shit's almost three feet high and the thing keeps bogging down and stalling. It needs a new air filter and complete going-over. The blade is also rather dull. I couldn't really get anything cut tonight so I called Dana to see about the old lawn mower that he had in his garage. It doesn't have a throttle cable but we might make it work.
I was also supposed to clean up the garage and the areas surrounding the house but the last tenants left all their stuff in the garage and I can't clean anything up. I am kicking myself for not finishing things earlier.
6 June 2007
I went to see my nephew's graduation today with my mom in Peabody, MA. This an important event for him and I'm glad that we were able to go. The stories some of the graduates told made me think of how lucky I was to have the upbringing that I did. I have to wonder, though: Why, then, am I such a fuck-up now? I know this is not my day in the sun and I am happy for Travis but I can't stop thinking about my piss-poor decisions and all the shit I'd do differently. Oh well.